I agree that it's ridiculous, but the examples you brought from the French comedian aren't great examples since they fit an actual rule. When the word ends with an R, both "oo" and "ea" are pronounced differently than when it ends with another letter. There are other examples that better portray how random English pronunciation can be.Take for example the words:
look vs door
read vs bear
Here's a famous one that some of you may have seen:
Who can tell me what word this is? GHOTI